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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Welcome to "National Elisa Thinks Stuff Month"

Every organization or cause seems to get its own day or month, and I really don't see why I should be any different. So, starting today and continuing through the month of February, I plan on making every day "National Elisa Thinks X Day".

So, for February 1st, I bring you:

National Elisa Thinks Corn Sucks Day

No, really, I hate corn. And you should, too.

Seriously, anything that comes out the way it went in is well, just wrong. I'm not offended by corn chips, corn tortillas, or even polenta, but corn on the cob, creamed corn, canned corn or any kind of kernal-y corn item just seems wrong and I won't eat it.

When I was a child, the only way I could finish eating an ear of corn was to play typewriter: I'd make typing noises while I ate and then at the end of a "row", I'd say "Ding!" and move to the next row.

I suppose the butter and salt helped, but really, it was mostly about the dinging.

Corn is an insidious vegetable and I've become quite paranoid about checking my salsa for corn on the ingredient list. The fact that I even have to think about whether or not there will be corn in my salsa seems crazy to me, and not for the reason that you're thinking.

So when you grow that corn next year, put it in your compost heap, pound it into flour, but don't, don't, don't put it in salsa.



10 Comments:

  • At 12:29 AM, Blogger Nancy said…

    I'm soooooo looking forward to February now! :-)

    Nancy
    http://goteweinstitches.blogspot.com

     
  • At 12:58 AM, Blogger Suzanne said…

    I am also looking forward to this month.

     
  • At 7:03 AM, Blogger Lauren said…

    You are too much!
    I used to play the typewriter game too, but (dare I say?) I actually enjoyed the corn :P

    I like your idea for the month of February!

     
  • At 7:08 AM, Blogger maryse said…

    hmmmm corn shits...joe takes issue with that too. although he loves corn. but not salsa.

     
  • At 8:53 AM, Blogger melanie said…

    You are so f*ckin cute! I love that you need the ding to get through an ear. Be glad you don't live in England, where they put corn in their tuna salad.

    I feel the same way about tomatos. I can do salsa, ketchup, sauce...but whole tomatoes gross me out.

     
  • At 8:55 AM, Blogger ErLeCa said…

    I had no idea someone could hate corn so much. Granted I think your reasons are quite valid! But I have to admit I do like corn... hate raw tomatoes, can't do those about as much as you can't do corn!

     
  • At 10:28 AM, Blogger Bookish Wendy said…

    If someone sneaks a bit of kernel into your salsa you may never know...

    Until the next day. ;)

    A new way to torture Elisa. Muw-ha-ha-ha.

    btw - You're a posting fool

     
  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger Jackie said…

    Dude, I'm with Nancy. This is the best thing that happened to February since Groundhog Day (both the day and the movie.)

    I love corn *especially* in salsa, and I love fiber in general. But I'll try not to feed you corn chowder anymore. I thought I was so good because I was keeping everything vegetarian friendly. Doh!

    Jackie

     
  • At 4:50 PM, Blogger margene said…

    I'm with you...no corn. It doesn't like me so I don't like it. You're going to make Feb. fun...we need it!

     
  • At 5:19 PM, Blogger um said…

    okay, but what about corny jokes? do you hate those, too? i mean, they can't help it that they're named after veggies that are strong enough to withstand stomach acid. :p

    yer fun!

     

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