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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

National Elisa Thinks Sometimes the Cosmos Shits In Your Lap And Tells You to Call it A Kitten Day

No, it wasn't a good day.

It wasn't a bad day in a Terribly Traumatic kind of way. It was the kind of day that beats you down by inches. The kind of day where you start to think that maybe you've done some bad cosmic shit and now it's all coming back to you.

I had a friend once who told me he thought I must have been a very bad cat in a former life to be reincarnated as a human in this life. It's days like this when I start to believe him.

Need proof?

You know where this happened? Not close to my house. Not by a long shot. This happened as I was just starting the second of my three (sometimes four) leg journey home. I stepped off the shuttle and noticed immediately that one of my legs was no longer (har har) as long as the other. I hobbled across four intersections, into the T station, down the stairs, through the station, down more stairs, down the platform to a bench where I sat down and the genius sitting next to me said "Did your shoe break?". As I held the heel in one hand and looked at him, I replied, "Um, yeah.".

And then he laughed.

I hobbled the rest of the way home (read: I ran/hobbled off the T and literally threw myself in front of the bus that would take me closest to my house) walked up the up the front porch and was greeted by two packages:

The thing about these packages? I only ordered the two books on the right. I didn't order the package on the left. And the books I did order? I ordered them FIVE MONTHS AGO. I swear to you, there is a postal conspiracy out there, and it's gunning for me. I received a postcard in the mail last week urging me to get a PO Box. I laughed in the face of the postcard. I threw it away, scoffing at the nerve of the Post Office to ask me to get a PO Box so that I would have to go to the scary Post Office more often than I have to go now.

And then they deliver a package that I swear they've had for FIVE MONTHS.

WHO KNOWS what else they're holding of mine.

I expect to start receiving ransom notes any day now.

The last thing that happened to me is maybe the worst.

My sock lied to me.

You know what happens to liars at Chez Concateknit? I turn them back into muffins:

Blurry muffins.

That's right. You've been warned.


  • At 7:18 AM, Blogger Lauren said…

    So sorry about your shoe, E! That sounds very traumatic. I had a sandal break on me once, and it was bad... but a boot? That is worse.

    That is too crazy about your postal service. Was the seller at fault at all? or only your post office?

    Take care, girl--sorry your Wednesday sucked. But, Thursday will be better (I hope!)

  • At 7:23 AM, Anonymous Colleen said…

    Oooh, I love the colors in that ball of yarn!

  • At 8:05 AM, Anonymous Frank (well, not really...) said…

    I don't know you, I just happened to stumble on your page.

    That truly was a lousy wednesday. It was a nice little story though.

  • At 8:35 AM, Blogger melanie said…

    I *so* need your powers to turn socks into muffins. Does that also apply to people? I could use that ability too...

  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger quantumtea said…

    Those were great boots too! Just found your blog and love it.

  • At 6:12 PM, Blogger Gracie said…

    I'm so sorry about your poor boots!! Maybe a shoe person could fix it for you.

    I hope your Thursday is better and hooray that tommorrow is Friday!!

  • At 6:31 PM, Blogger um said…

    well that sucks. the cosmos should know better than to mess with a girl and her shoes, dammit!

    what did your sock lie about? know what i'd do for revenge? knit it back up and wear it after not having washed my feet for a few weeks. that'll show the damn sock who's the boss. *enter tony danza*

  • At 8:05 PM, Blogger Kim said…

    Well, look at it this way...

    The boot didn't break on your way to work. Instead it broke on your way home where you have that amazing box of chocolate waiting to console you ;-)


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