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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

When I Wax Philosophically About Not Getting Stressed Out

You should probably duck as your chances of being hit in the head by a flying roll of wrapping paper are high.

I became very Zen about not finishing all my Christmas knitting in time for all of the recipients to receive their presents by Christmas. Really, I did.

On Tuesday I took stock everything that was done and prepared to wrap the gifts.

Snug (sweats on and heat turned up) and smug (see final point from Sunday's post) and Zen, I pulled out my wrapping paper box and got my supplies ready, including my fancy new electric scissors.

I couldn't find any gift tags.

So I put my clothes back on and bundled up to go OUTSIDE. At 9pm. When the temperature, without factoring in the windchill, was 8 degrees Farenheit. I went to the drug store. I bought gift tags, more wrapping paper and gift bags.

I went back home, put my sweats back on, and feeling noticeably less snug, smug, and Zen, began The Wrapping of 2004. At midnight, when my back couldn't take any more of the hardwood floor, I went to bed.

I had some Grand Minor Plans for yesterday. I was going to finish The Wrapping of 2004, bake cookies, block the rest of the Bad, Bad Sweater, box all the gifts that needed to be shipped today, take pictures of my WIPs, felt Sophie 4, blog, and start packing for our trip to Georgia on Friday. An added bonus, yesterday was the day when Mike's company gives each employee either a vegetable lasagna, a ham or a turkey, and I was really looking forward to eating the vegetable lasagna for dinner.

What actually happened yesterday was this:

I blocked nothing,
I felted nothing,
I took pictures of nothing,
I blogged about nothing,
I started packing nothing,
I baked cookies,
I wore my underwear sideways for most of the day before I noticed,
I wandered around my apartment looking for The Pen that I felt I needed in order to fill out the gift tags. It was The Pen. It was Perfect. It was Lost. I was Bereft and it took a long time to Let Go.

It took Mike almost two hours to get home from work (curses on the Pike) and the lasagna took another two hours to bake. I ate dinner at 10pm and I was grateful, damnit.

At 11pm, I believed I was done with The Wrapping of 2004. I stood up to unkink my back and saw one more gift that needed to be wrapped.

And then I found the gift tags I thought were missing initially.

That's when the wrapping paper started to fly.


  • At 9:55 AM, Blogger Bookish Wendy said…

    You poor girl. Get back to the Zen now dammit!

  • At 11:01 AM, Blogger um said…

    the good thing is, you at least have a zen mindset in your sights. your stress-free goal isn't even fractionally present for some of us (i won't mention names, but the main culprit's name begins with an m and ends with ichelle). so at least you aim high.

    i enjoyed reading this post, as frustrating as it may have been for you to live through. thanks for sharing the chuckle - it lessens my stress to laugh! you zenspreader, you.

  • At 11:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    sorry. i'm laughing WITH you. not at you.

    maryse @

  • At 11:15 AM, Blogger Lauren said…

    Oh, the frustration! I totally hear you though... I get all prepared to do something, am excited to jump right in, and then one little element (like the missing gift tags) throws EVERYTHING off! *grumble*

    Great post... I like the Caps on the significant words... very funny :)

    Hang in there!

  • At 12:35 PM, Blogger melanie said…

    *laughing out loud at underwear comment*

    You poor girl. I am laughing with Maryse. Wait that's wrong. You, I meant laughing WITH YOU.

    It's all over now. Have a lovely time in Georgia. Hope to see you in January!

  • At 6:46 PM, Blogger Gracie said…

    Merry Christmas!!

    Good luck getting things finished. Sorry Wrapping 2004 wasn't much of a success, but hey, it's over!

    Have a great holiday!

  • At 7:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well, Elisa, I am a little worried now, because I am scheduled to complete "wrapping 2004" tonight. And, so far, I have LOST two of the gifts I need to wrap! Back when I was excited about being Santa, I think I started hiding things a little too well. I don't have high hopes for tonight...I'm not even shooting for zen like thoughts, it's all about survival right now!
    (let's not mention that I still need to finish the foot on my son's christmas stocking!)
    Kerry (knittygirl)

  • At 12:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm sorry, I have to ask--how does one wear underwear *sideways*?


  • At 11:21 AM, Blogger margene said…

    Tis very hard to feel Zen this time of year but it's when we need it most!
    May the next two days just cruze for you and your Chrismtas be Merry and Zenful.

  • At 11:57 AM, Blogger Susan said…

    Ah, but just think -- you're done!
    I personally think the wrapping is the worst part. Which is why those Nordstrom gift boxes are looking really good to me right now.

  • At 9:13 PM, Blogger mayflwr said…

    I've worn my underwear sideways toooo!! haha!

    your post made me giggle ;)

  • At 4:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    merry christmas! you are hilarious. wishing you all the best!


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